A year or two back I think, I was a big fan of Mixels and I did lots of fanart of it. I have an old account here on DA with my (cringey) Mixels art and stuff but I'm not gonna say the account. If you look hard enough, you'll probably find it. I know it.
I miss drawing these cute little dorks actually, they were cool. I'll probably draw more of them soon, but as of now, I'm thankful for the memories.
If this art style seems familiar to you and you're a part of the Mixels fandom with all the other Mixel fan Deviants, you probably know who I am and what my account is.
This makes me feel weird drawing this again, mostly because of nostalgia and moving on from the past, but that's pretty much what we go through as human beings soooooo yeah.
And um, I'm really sorry for the lack of activity here. Here's why:
A lot of shit has happened. First, it was my aunt's passing, which always makes me want to cry talking or even hearing about it. And then on my anxiety attacks have increased and I had to be put on medication twice a day because I have not one, but TWO FUCKING ANXIETY DISORDERS. TWO. DISORDERS. I felt like a crazy person because my anxiety makes me think of things and have unwanted thoughts which tear me apart. I get afraid of posting art or even messaging people because I don't want to seem as that one annoying ass little shit who can't stop being crazy on the internet and crap. I haven't been eating much, I've lost 5 pounds, I've had 4 needles pierce my skin, my unwanted thoughts make me want to stab tweezers in my legs, and I've just been feeling like a nervous and sad wreck for this past month and I hate it. I REALLY hate it. I feel alone a lot, but when I try to talk to someone about my problems, I get this voice in my head saying "DON'T SAY SHIT. YOU'RE JUST AN ATTENTION WHORE YOU FUCKING DEGENERATE. YOUR FRIENDS ARE ONLY YOUR 'FRIENDS' BECAUSE THEY FEEL BAD FOR YOU" and I get that voice a lot. It makes me cry, I make myself cry. Sometimes I don't want to deal with the voices, and years ago I contemplated suicide because of it. Now, I'm not getting those thoughts, I get them rarely, but they come back to haunt me. They always come back one way or another to shut me the fuck down.
But there's people here who have helped me. Like
they helped me so much and I can't thank them enough, but again, the voices tell me to just be friendless and die alone so I don't bother anyone. I hate the voices so much and they make me feel like I'm crazy and no one will understand because my anxiety makes me think that they don't really care and I'm abusing their kindness or something even though I CLEARLY see that I'm not, the anxiety is just playing tricks on me. It's playing tricks on my fragile mind.
Um.. thanks for reading this. I guess. So now you know why I haven't posted much. Encouragement helps for motivation, but right now I'm just taking breaks from the internet a lot to calm me down. I'll try to post stuff so I don't upset anyone here, but it'll probably be mostly vent because.. well.. problems.
I know that there are others who have helped me, and once again I can't thank the people enough. Thank you all so much, you all mean a lot to me even if I don't know you on a personal level. I hope I mean the same way to you.
I may not post a lot of things but I'll still be active through comments and notes. Well I'll try to be active anyway. So.. yeah.. thanks and see you later alligators. 🐊✌🏼
Mixels (c) Lego, Cartoon Network
My monstersona (c) me
Whajje (c) Big Blue Bubble
Artwork (c) me